location: Transition > Testosterone > Monthly Updates > Two Months
Two Months on T
July 15, 2003
The hair above my upper lip is getting quite dark and coarse. The day I shave it, I can already feel it growing back in. I don't see any sideburns, chin, or neck hair yet. The peach fuzz grows back in within two days now, and it is very noticible, even visually.
The hair on my legs is continuing to get darker and longer. I can even see hair on my upper thigh now (before it was so light, you couldn't even see it). I'm getting a lot more longer, somewhat darker hair on my belly/happy trail area, though I have one long, dark hair that protrudes from right beneath my belly button. My pubic hair line has definitely raised up towards my belly and down my legs a little. I think my underarm hair has also spread down my side more, too. There is also more hair on my feet.
I still haven't noticed much change in body shape in the hip area yet. Sometimes I feel like my belly is a little bigger, like it hangs over my tightie-whities sometimes when I'm lying down. I suppose that if something is changing, it's just changing so slowly that I'm not noticing it.
I haven't been lifting or doing regular exercise of any sort, but yet I feel like I'm stronger somehow. I feel like I can carry more, for a longer period of time, though my back and hips still get tired as easily and hurt as frequently. Now that I'm healed from surgery, I'm thinking of working out a little.
I think my acne is a little worse than last month. It's the same, annoying kind, where it's lots of little red bumps everywhere, with only a few of the large mother zits now and then. So I feel like my face looks a lot worse than it really is, because it's always red, even though the zits are so small. I've decided that I'm going to make a better effort to wash my face twice a day.
Even I've noticed a change in my voice recently. Of course, I don't notice it from day to day, but when I listened to my one month clip and then the two month clip, I can definitely hear the difference. I can feel the difference, too. It feels like I'm talking from lower in my throat or something. I've heard it crack a couple times, too, which is very humorous. Take a listen here.
I won't experience The Bane of My Existence anymore no matter what, because I had a full hysterectomy on June 11th. It's now been about one month since the surgery, and I've just pretty much stopped bleeding from the healing stitches inside. It doesn't really count as mentruation, but it's bleeding all the same.
As I expected/was worried about, my primary libido is to enjoy pleasing my partner. Now that's not normally a problem, but I've had to learn that sometimes a partner isn't in the mood to have themselves satisfied. Perhaps it's sick and twisted, but doing something for my partner really does calm my excited libido. I used to chalk that up to being/becoming more stone, and perhaps that still has something to do with it, but I'm pretty sure that that is not the only factor with me. I'm convinced that the same chemicals are released in my brain when my partner orgasms as when I do, hense my being completely and utterly satisfied when the former happens. That's not to say the latter never happens, but it's just not a priority.
The "little guy"
He is continuing to grow like a madman. And I don't think there is any stopping him. With the clitoris itself having gotten so large and decending outside of the hood, I've noticed that it sometimes rubs on my underwear when I'm walking (at work for example). It's really quite uncomfortable. For the first time, I'm considering wearing boxers or underwear with a bigger pouch sometimes. It is currently about 3.2cm long.
I don't feel that I've gotten more aggressive, but I have noticed that it's much more difficult for me to just let something go. Perhaps it's an aggressive or impatient impulse, but it's not like I have to catch it or else it would escalate. The impulse is there (for example, to talk before I think in an argument), but it's not like I would start yelling or cursing if I wasn't aware the impulse. It's just been harder to let things go that in the past I would have just sucked up and gone on with my life.