Home
About Me
Transition
Body Art
Pictures
Site Map
Updates
Contact Me

Search
Donate

location:  Transition  >  Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)  >  Sex


1. How do you and a partner have sex so that it doesn't make you feel like a girl (i.e. what to touch, what not to, etc.)?
2. Do you have a penis?
3. What do you do in bed? / Can you use your phallus for sex?
4. Did you lose sensation after your bottom surgery? / Can you orgasm after your bottom surgery?
5. Do you get an erection? / Can you have penetrative sex now?
6. Since you’ve had bottom surgery, can you get a woman pregnant?
7. So how exactly does masturbation work for you these days, in terms of technique?
8. Are you ever going to get curious about what actual penetration feels like with a girl and want to try it?



1. How do you and a partner have sex so that it doesn't make you feel like a girl (i.e. what to touch, what not to, etc.)?
Before chest surgery, my partner did not touch my breasts, because touching that part of my chest made me feel uncomfortable. Before bottom surgery, my partner did not touch my vaginal area, and I did not use my vagina for penetration.


2. Do you have a penis?
I do not, and will not ever, have a penis like a man who was born male has, no matter what surgery I have (unless there is a giant leap in the SRS surgical techniques). The testosterone-enlarged clitoris resembles a small penis, but it is held down by clitoral ligaments. During metoidioplasty bottom surgery (the procedure I had), it is moved to a more naturally-male position, and the urethra is extended to allow urination while standing. The resulting phallus looks like an infant male penis and gets erect upon stimulation similar to an adult male penis.


3. What do you do in bed? / Can you use your phallus for sex?
My wife and I do what is done by many gay and straight couples alike. Both of our experiences within the queer community have allowed us to be open and accepting of each other’s wants and needs in bed. The phallus I have from my metoidioplasty is very small, similar to an infant-sized penis. Although small, it does react to sexual stimulation and excitement and gets larger with erection – large enough for slight penetration. Like many couples, we also utilize the myriad of other techniques available…let’s just say there’s no lack of pleasuring options.


4. Did you lose sensation after your bottom surgery? / Can you orgasm after your bottom surgery?
I did not lose any sensation after my metoidioplasty. Orgasming after surgery is actually much more intense and pleasurable, because I can finally fully relate to that part of my body now.


5. Do you get an erection? / Can you have penetrative sex now?
The phallus I have from my metoidioplasty is very small, similar to an infant-sized penis. Although small, it does react to sexual stimulation and excitement and gets larger with erection – large enough for slight penetration.


6. Since you’ve had bottom surgery, can you get a woman pregnant?
No. There are currently no surgeries that will allow a female-born person to make sperm (which are needed to create pregnancy).


7. So how exactly does masturbation work for you these days, in terms of technique?
Masturbation works for me the way it would for a biological guy (although I really don't like that term "biological" guy, because technically I'm now a "biological" guy; so I use "man-born-male" instead), at least from what I've seen in porn and whatnot, just on a smaller-scale. Before testosterone, I didn't really do it that much, mostly because it was...difficult...it took too long..."manual stimulation" shall we say just didn't work. Honestly, I don't know how women do it that way because it never worked for me. But after testosterone enlarged the clitoris making it bigger (and especially after having metoidioplasty bottom surgery), it just works like a little penis. Which makes sense, because that's what it is; it's just located in a different position. I've had partners (those who have previously been with men-born-male) tell me that what works is the same type of thing that was exciting for their past (men-born-male) partners. Certainly some of that is psychological (I'm a lot more comfortable with myself than I was before transitioning), but masturbation certainly has changed...it's fun and easy now!


8. Are you ever going to get curious about what actual penetration feels like with a girl and want to try it?
With the hormonally-enlarged phallus that I had before bottom surgery, some penetration is possible, but certainly not to the effect or depth as if I had been born male. After my metoidioplasty bottom surgery, some penetration is possible in creative positions, mostly due to it being in a more naturally-male position. Sure, I certainly am still curious about what man-born-male penetration feels like, but that is something that I will never experience, no matter what surgery I have. In phalloplasty procedures, a pump is usually inserted to make it hard so you can achieve penetration, but even then erotic sensation isn't guaranteed and often depends on what phalloplasty procedure is performed (radial forearm phalloplasty has been both anecdotally and scientifically reported to provide erotic sensation, but with abdominal-flap phalloplasty there won't be much more feeling than surface sensation). With the metoidioplasy procedure (the bottom surgery I had), most results allow you to achieve some minor penetration with preservation of erotic sensation.