location: Transition > Testosterone > Monthly Updates > Twelve Months
Twelve Months on T
May 27, 2004
One year on T, and I cannot even begin to grow anything on my face worth bragging about or even showing. I have 10 or so dark hairs that grow in a line where my neck meets my chin, and another 10 or so randomly sprouting about around my chin. The rest of the hair on my face, especially around my chin and moustache area continues to get very thick, but it is still very light in color. No sign of sideburns, not even one hair to talk about. My endocrinologist called them my "damn face folicles" that are just going to take time.
Compared to Pre-T, obviously I have facial hair now that I can actually shave. I need to shave at least twice per week, and at the end of a shave day I can definitely feel a 5 o'clock shadow, at least of the thicker hairs on my chin and moustache areas.
Stomach and arm hair have gotten noticeably darker and longer. My leg hair could also have changed, too, but there is so much of it now, it's getting harder to tell. My stomach hair, happy trail in particular, is slowly creeping upwards more and more towards the middle of my chest and outwards toward my love handles.
In relation to Pre-T, my leg hair is darker, longer, and thicker, and the back of my calves are now just about completely filled in, whereas they were basically bald Pre-T. My butt is covered in a thin layering of long, soft, dark hair, and I think it's growing in thicker even more in patches. I'm embracing my unibrow and letting it grow out.
I've been very concerned with my body shape/fat distribution. I started to gain a lot of weight, which isn't what worried me so much, but rather where I was gaining it was getting to me. I noticed a lot in my hips (I thought T wasn't supposed to do that?) and in my belly. I've been doing cardio workouts consistently for about a month to see if that would help. I've certainly lost weight, which is good, but wasn't the ultimate goal of seeing a change in body shape (even if my weight went up from muscle building, that'd be OK with me). I'm giving it at least two more months to see a noticeable difference in body shape.
Compared to Pre-T, a lot of what used to be hips seems more like back now. I have definite love handles and can see the fat padding beginning on my belly. I feel like my shoulders are more broad, as if there is more "stuff" to them. Everything just seems thicker, if that makes sense.
I've also been lifting consistently for about a month, and I have really noticed a difference there! I've been focusing on my arms and chest per Dr. Menard for my chest chronic inflammation, and I think it is helping. I'm definitely stronger, thicker, and generally just bigger. I'm actually making progress in the gym in terms of be able to increase my weight resistance and reps. Some people have even noticed enough to ask me, "Have you been working out?"!
In relation to Pre-T, I notice that I can build muscle a lot faster. I feel like I've actually accomplished something when I'm done with my workout. My muscles seem to flex a lot more easily...like they're actually there and doing something. I'm much stronger, and have much more muscle stamina.
Acne has gotten really bad, all over my face, back, chest, and arms. I have since gone to the dermatologist, and she put me on a prescription benzoyl peroxide 8% shower wash, 100mg minocycline twice per day, and a diflucan every two weeks (to try to prevent any yeast infections, which I have been very prone to in the past while on long-term antibiotics). At this point, it has only been two weeks, but I think it might be helping. So far, the diflucan has been working, so here's to hope that it will continue to do so. If this does not work, she said she will consider putting me on Acutane, but that was not her first choice for me due to the possible side effects and the fact my acne looks more "folicular" than "nodule."
Compared to Pre-T, my acne has spread like crazy. My skin feels a lot more oily all the time.
Month to month, I can't really tell that much of a difference in my voice. But every few months I think there is a change, so that is why I am continuing to record it.
In relation to Pre-T, obviously my voice has changed quite a bit. This is by far my favorite effect of the testosterone, though I do hope it is not quite done dropping. :) In person, even after speaking, I pass probably 80% of the time. On the phone, I pass often, but not quite as much, probably 50% of the time.
I have, for the first time since starting T (and really in my life) discovered handjobs. And I'm not talking about the comic magazine. Whoa. I think I'm addicted.
Compared to Pre-T, I must admit that I am more sexual and think more about getting off than before. I wouldn't say that it's the only thing I can think about, but I do find myself wanting to masturbate more now than ever before. I'm sure that's a combination of things, not just the T, but I'm sure the T helps.
The "little guy"
He hasn't changed much from month to month recently; he measures at about 5 1/2 cm.
In relation to Pre-T, he's grown over 5 times his original size. There is a definite change when excited; he doesn't really grow in length, but instead grows in width and girth and sticks more straight out away from my body. Over the past year, I've thought more about bottom surgery, specifically metoidioplasty, and its something I will most likely at least seek professional advice on sometime in the future. When? I'm not sure...maybe a year? Who knows.
I've faced a lot of new challenges and changes in the past months, and I've had to put my new ways of thinking to the test. Most of how I feel is due to both my transition and cicumstantial factors beyond my control. But during this past year, it has been more difficult to see the "big picture," concentrate, and put things in order. For sure I have a slightly altered way of thinking that I believe is due to the T. It is hard to describe. I'm still trying to basically re-learn how to learn. It has been very frustrating.
On the whole, I am very satisfied with my transition so far. I think I've been able to accomplish more in this past year than many are lucky enough to achieve in multiple years. Yes, I have been very lucky, but I think I've also worked very hard for it all; it certainly hasn't just landed in my lap. I'm looking forward to everything continueing to change, with (hopefully) more physical masculinization to come.