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location:  Transition  >  Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)  >  Partners and Relationships


1. If you date a biological woman who identifies as straight, will she feel like she doesn't count as straight anymore?
2. When would you tell a potential romantic interest that you are FTM?
3. Will anyone ever love me after transitioning? / How do I find someone to date?



1. If you date a biological woman who identifies as straight, will she feel like she doesn't count as straight anymore?
Obviously, Iím not the ideal person to answer this question; a partner of a transperson would be. However, I can answer with what I have been told by friends and those I have dated. A straight-identified woman questioning her sexuality because of dating a transman is a very natural and normal occurrence and process. Ultimately, if she were dating me sheíd be dating a man and be, functionally, in a straight relationship. However, itís important to point out that she could identify as anything she wanted to, and it would never be up to me, my personal sexuality, or my own gender identity to decide that for her.


2. When would you tell a potential romantic interest that you are FTM?
Only very recently have I actually been in a situation to seriously consider this question, because until recently everyone Iíve dated has previously known about my activism within the trans community. I first had very strong feelings about wanting to tell potential romantic interests about being FTM before anything physical (ie. kissing) happens. There are many personal aspects people donít reveal before entering a physical relationship, so I wonder why my transsexuality should be any different? I tell myself it is out of respect for whoever I am involved with, but still Iím not sure it is 100% necessary to reveal before anything physical happens.


3. Will anyone ever love me after transitioning? / How do I find someone to date?
Yes, someone will love you after transitioning, and if they donít, then they arenít the right one for you! Some people meet others online or through a mutual friend, others do things that make themselves more available/open to meet new people such as in a bookstore, at a bar, in a restaurant, out dancing, etc. As soon as I stopped looking for that ďperfect person,Ē I met her.